A Sign Of Evolution In The Human Kingdom.

You know what i realized?


I kind of understand how the scientists got lost and now say that we originated from animals.
How did they get lost? The behaviour of some certain humans confused them. There are many people in this world who act like a bunch of apes. Dont get me wrong i dont believe in evolution at all. However the other day I noticed some behaviour that reminded me of a nature show.


Two boys in my class were sitting next to me and one of my friends named Laila.
One of the boys grabbed the cell phone of the other. So this guy gets up and grabs the throat of the guy who took his cell. They were both smiling, clearly expressing to each other that they were just joking. However when the guy gave back the phone to his friend, he looked back at us ladies. Then he jumped his friend when his back was turned. As if he was tryin to pay back his friend for embarrasing him in front of the girls. They both began rolling around and wrestling on the floor.

Take into consideration that this was all taking place in a classroom. There was a supply teacher.

But that's not my point.

The point is that these guys are acting like a bunch of apes for no reason. What did they gain from this encounter? Only animals fight each other to impress females. Honeslty humans should know better.


These stupid actions are what confuse the dumbass evolutionists.

In case you didnt know; i hate evolution.

What's your thoughts about the theory of evolution?

Complicated_LaydeeXOXO

Allah knows what's in my heart.

I really need to work on becoming a better muslim, yet i am a hijabi. What is a hijabi you might ask? Someone who wears the hijab [head-covering] and the skirt or an abaya all the time. Thus i am considered to be therefore religious.



HA! Buddy i am far from religious. In fact i've seen non-hijabi's do better things than i have.


I hate this fact alot because people say to me "Ohhh Laydee your soo good mashallah." I always say start to arguing because i dont like to be called something i'm not. "I am not religious" I say instanly. But do they listen? That's a NO-NO.


I dont care about what people think anyway. I just wonder what Allah thinks of me.

Judging by all the sins i have done this past week, i would say he he doesnt like me at all.

And honestly this thought scares me alot.

Tears come to my eyes, whenever i start to think of all the things i owe to Allah and how little i have repayed him in my 17 years of living. I come from a very religious family so most people would think fufilling my religion is easy.

They are very very wrong.

Islam is hard because your faith level is always changing. In arabic faith is called Imaan in case you didnt know.

Your imaan decreases the more sins you do and increases the more good deeds you do. If you do alot of good deeds; being a good muslim is like shooting the breeze.

I havent done that many good deeds lately, so i guess that's why i'm having a hard time praying my salat lately.

I wanna cry everytime i look back on how many salat's i had prayed.


I honestly beleive in Allah in my heart and mind but i need more than just that. What i need is to show this belief through my actions.

But here i am talking this way and the next thing i know i'm listening to Drake "Find Your Love."

I make myself sick sometimes.

The next time someone calls me a hijabi or tells me that i'm so good i swear i'm gonna lash out.

Yes i wear the hijab but the scarf doesnt just covers my hair.

It covers the sins and the good deeds that i hide in my heart from the people who see me.

Only Allah knows all.

Does anyone have any suggestions to make my imaan stronger? I would love to hear what you people do to keep your imaan so high.

Thanks!


Complcated_LaydeeXOXO

Conversations these days are so ZZZZZZZZZZ.

Wanna laugh? Yesterday, my friends started to talk about clothes and then i got up and walked away from the group, i excused myself saying that i had "work" to do.

Realistically i just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Anyway when i left, I saw Sahra. She came up to me and said: "Yo you were so right about that group and their addiction to clothes. As soon you got up and left one of the girls, was like: "OMG I LOVE clothes. I can talk about it all day. Yesterday alone i spent a whole hour talking about shoes."

I laughed at the time.

This is why i want to leave this place. I hate my area sometimes. Now days i'm starting to hate it all the time. I want to meet people who talk about intelligent things. Dont get me wrong i love my friends, and who they are but it's just that they're topics just bore me death sometimes.

In this area, i'm living in now, i feel like a caged animal. I want to travel the world and see things that you dont get to see in Toronto.


But everyone has that dream dont they?

I guess i'm just gonna have to settle with listening to conversations about Dolce and Gabbana.

At least Sayara is much more chillin these days though.

Yesterday all my friends went to Canada's Wonderland and i didnt. So i guess for the next couple of weeks i'm gonna have to listen to how much fun they had.

Honestly, i'd rather talk about the shoes.


Complicated_LaydeeXOXO

OMG.

So i was walking in the hallway at school today and was just about to go up the stairs when someoone grabbed me from behind and pulled me under the stairscase. There's this quiet corner under the staircase where no one likes to hang out.

"Hey!" I shout and turn to face my attacker.

It was ZACK.

He put his hand on my mouth. His fingers felt so soft as they brushed against my lips.

"Shhh!" He whispers.

That's when i realize we were standing too close together. One of his hands were on my waist and the other was on my lips.

I resisted the urge to grab him and kiss him.

Instead i pulled away so the little voice in my head screaming "KISS HIM" would shut up.

He let go of me.

"What's up?" I asked casually.

He raised one of his hands and brushed his fingers through his hair. His t-shirt rided up a bit and i got a glimpse of his rock hard abs.

Was i sweating all of a sudden? And why were my lips so dry??? Maybe it was the heat.

"Laydee look. I dont know what's going on but lately....." he trailed off.

"Lately what??" I asked nervously as i licked my lips.

"Lately???"

"I can't stop thinking about you.." He rubbed his hands on his face as if he was frustated.

My heart that was beating soo fast a minute ago just stopped.

"I dont know why but whenever i'm around you.. i loose focus on whatever i'm doing." He looked up at me.

"I want to be with you, and for some strange reason i think it's just right." He finished. He was talking really fast as if he was afraid there wasnt enough time to say what he wanted to say.

I licked my lips again.

He stepped closer to me.

"Laydee... i think i was in love with you.... all this time. I-II just kept telling myself that i was in control of who i liked. But i guess i'm not." His eyes fell to the floor.

"Do you love me??" he asked.

I nodded. I was so shocked i couldnt even speak. I could only nod.

His eyes lit up as he looked back up at my face.

He stared at me for what felt like the longest time.

I felt my knees go weak.

He was suddenly much closer. I could smell his sweet cinnamon breath.

His nose brushed mine softly.

"Excellent" he murmmered.

Our mouths met for the first time in a heart melting kiss.




And then i woke up.


Yeah that's right. It was only a fucking dream.

Sometimes i hate dreams. They could be so cruel sometimes.

I know it was a very corny dream, but highly enjoyable.

loooooool

Have any of you had a dream similar to the one i had. C'mon, i know all you girls have a had at least one dream about your crush.

Spill the details!

Complicated_LaydeeXOXO

Girls.. Sometimes they can get really annoying.

There are days i just really wanna run away from my school. All my friends ever talk about is shoes, shopping, clothes, manicure, make up, and where the next party is.

While theyr'e all talking, where am i?

In zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz land.

I mean dont get me wrong. I love make up and stuff but i dont talk about it every fuckin minute.

************************************************

Sayara just pissed me off today.

Here's what basically happened:

So i am walking with best friend Sahra and talking and whispering. Sayara comes and says "Come Laydee we have to go to class."

Laydee: "Sure okay." {Say goodbye to Sahra.} Start walking with Sayara.
Sayara: in a low voice. "What was she telling you?"
Laydee: "Sorry i cant tell you that. I dont tell ppl what you tell me. Its her business.
Sayara: Yeah but is it even interesting???? I mean all the stuff Sahra talks about is so boring.
Laydee: [gives her a look] umm.. actually it was really interesting.

How rude is that? Sayara should be the last fucking person to talk about things that are interesting because i heard some of the things she's talking about and trust me on this one: THEY ARE FAR FROM INTERESTING! Where does she get this bitchiness from? Sometime she's nice but majority of the time she acts like a bitch. I think she doesnt like me that much either. I think neither of us want to express what really feel because lets face it: It would be very awkward.

I guess that's the thing with girls who are friends because they're friends are friends.

It's all just very complicated.

But that's who i am isnt it? (;

Complicated_LaydeeXOXOXO

A friend of a friend of mine.

Happy Victoria day everyone.

I dont even know what the holiday's about but who cares.

It's not even going to be a happy one because i spent my whole long weekend studying for my chemistry test tommorow. Boriing!

My friends went downtown today to celebrate a girls birthday. I'm sitting here bored out of my mind but i am happy about one thing.

You see one of my friends is my friend but at the same time were not. Well at least on my side were not. I dont know how she feels. One time i remeber she said as a joke: "Secretly i really hate you" and then laughed as if to express she was joking.

Ha.

Honestly i would love it if she hated me cuz than it would give me an excuse not to talk to her anymore. Let's call this girl Sayara.


Sayara is forever competing with me. She always has to prove she's either smarter than me, listens to better music than me, dresses better than me....

Yeah you get the point.

I even suspect she has a crush on Zack. A huge one.

She laughs at my cluelessness about Jamaican songs. Am i Jamaican? Okay so why should i care? She's not Jamaican by the way. I dont understand why this makes me a loser. One time were at her house listening to some Jamaican songs. All my friends were singing the words and i was just standing there listening. I could tell Sayara was staring at me. She laughs and says to me: "It's okay Laydee, i was one time just lost about this stuff as you were."

Oookaaay..???

w/e

And then there's the whole thing about Zack. Sayara says she hates him because one of our friends hate him so being the huge copycat she is she says she hates him too.
Next thing you know she's mouthing about what he said or did today. And it's always me she tells these things to. She'll be like... "omg Laydee guess what? Zack came behind me and grabbed my waist and lifted me up. And i told him to stop but he just wont leave me alone." Day after day she's always telling me about what he did to "bother"her. The funny thing is when she tells me the story she always has a huge smile on her face. T_T

Sometimes i think she says these things to make me jealous. Oh she doesnt know i like him, i dont trust her enough to tell her, but she's always hinting about us being together.. when she knows perfectley well we dont talk anymore. (i'll tell you what happened between me and zack another time. So whenever she's talking about what Zack did to her today i always say this: "Maybe he likes you?" Just to make her happy.

I'm such a good friend arent i?

So anyway Sayara went with them downtown so i'm using all my time to take advantage and study some more so i can get a higher mark than her and i can rub it in her face.

Honestly i'm just sick of her. And i'm starting to think maybe Zack does like her.

Why do i hang out with her if i dislike her? Because she hangs out with my friends.

Ever have a girl like Sayara in your circle of friends?

Please leave a comment. I would love to hear your "Sayara" problems.

Bye for now.

Complicated.LaydeeXOXO

HIM.

Okay this is a blog post.. that i've wanted to post up for a really long time.... >_<

Actually the day i first made this blog [which wasnt that long ago] i've wanted to talk about this subject. :p

Or actually this person. <3

Okay remeber the blog entry where i talked about the "100 things about Laydee?" Well one of the items on that list talked about a certain person i ahem.. loved.

Well... lets call him Zack.

Zack is my neighbour.

No we did not grow up together. I moved next door to him like three years ago.
Anyway.. i'm not going to say Zack is cute... okay he is but he's not gorgeous..Anyways when we first met i wasnt really attracted to him... in fact i barely noticed him.. However my friend had a crush on him first... and then i started to notice things about him that made me feel... well you know..

Anyway.. i started to notice how one side of his mouth curls up when he's amused. He's really fit. Meaning he's muscular and has ABS! LOOL

Did i mention that his real first name is my last name??? OMG....

He smells really really good. lmfaooo

And sometimes i feel like i know what he's thinking by just looking at his facial expressions. I love that. It makes me feel like have power.

Here are some moments that i love to reflect back on... xsighx

Enjoy. Oh and please feel free to leave a comment.

..........................................

Me:Zack can i have my pen back please?
Zack: No i'm keeping it. -winks- For memories.

......................................................

Zack: Since your last name {insert name here} is my name we are like destined to be together.
Me: blushes. Shut up!

.............................................................

Zack: I know you have dreams of me.
Me: {throws pen at Zack but misses.} Shut up.
Teacher: Laydee! pick that up! And apologize to Zack!
Me: but Ms.----!
Zack: {fake sobs and whimpers} That really hurt.
Me: Shut up.
Teacher: Laydee if you dont apologize then you and him are gonna stay after class.
Me: Fine. I'm sorry Zack.
Zack: {grins} Apology accepted.
Teacher: Now both of you apologize to me for distrupting my class.
Zack and Me: Sorry Miss.

................................................................
My best friend is in this one. And this happened today by the way. Let's call her Sahra.

--Zack was behind me as i was talking to my best friend.--

Sahra:{grabs my hand.} Come with me for a sec.
Me: {look at the floor to try to avoid Zack's gaze.
Zack: Continues walking away.
Sahra: OMG! HE WAS LOOKING AT YOUR ASS!
Me: WHAT???
Sahra: I know. I BOOKED HIM!

Okay in this one i couldnt help but smile. I dont know why i did. I should be totally disgusted because i'm muslim and all that but guys check out girls when you know... when they like someone. I dunno i'm confused about this one. It's complicated.

Did something like this ever happen to any of you? Am i the only weird one who thinks it's a good thing if her crush checks her out? I'M REALLY MESSED UP ARENT I?


Stay tuned for more stories about Zack and me.

Complicated.LaydeeXOXO

Pathological liar pt.2

Sooo what happened was... i skipped my math class on monday and tuesday because we were gonna have a test and i was soo not ready.

As some of you may already know i fucking hate math. This therefore means it's not my best subject. I have 65% right now and that is not looking good for me in front of the universities i'm gonna apply to next year and my parents are yelling at me every single flippin minute.


Soo... i skipped and the school called and my parents found out and they went to talk to my math teacher. The bitch ratted me out and now my parents think i'm the worst person ever.

Take this fact into consideration. I have never skipped before in my life. One time or two times is not going to kill me.

Anyway they asked where i was and i said i was in the washroom vomiting. I was sick. They didnt beleive me. But they didnt yell at me or anything. They knew i was lying my ass off. I dont even think my story made sense. I dont blame them. I wouldnt beleive myself if i were them either. But.. that's not the point.

The point is... okay.. i dont know what the point is.. but lying is not good. And my stupid conscience is killing me now that i lied to my parents. I dont like lying to them because it really ruins our relationship and stuff... but i dont know.

Sometimes i think all teenagers were just made to lie. It's like in our blood or something. I have to stop this.. seriously.

What would you do if you were me and had parents that would beat your ass, if they knew you were skipping?? Would you lie like a devil or tell the truth??

And be honest please.

Bye for now.

Complicated.LaydeeXOXO

Pathalogical liar pt.1

i dunno if i spelled it right but w/e .

Anyway i did something today or actually i said something today that made me think of how easily a lie comes out of my mouth.


I'll elaborate more on this another time because my computer is friggen slow.

Technology can be a pain the ass. T_T

100 Things about Laydee.

I dont think that little box they give you is enough to fill in all the things that make you who you are so...I've created a list about myself in this blog post.

Enjoy!

1)I'm seventeen
2)I'm somali
3)I can burp 100 times non-stop. {loool i know gross.}
4)I wasnt born in Canada. Dont worry where.
5)I'm muslim
6)I'm a hijabi. Meaning i wear the hijab and skirts instead of pants.
7)This doesnt make me seem relgious though. So yeah i'm not really religious.
8)I live in a boring area.
9)My parents are strict, typical somali parents.
10)My favourite types of movies are: romance,comedy and chickflicks.
11)My favourite sport is soccer.
12)I'm a romantic. Yes i believe in soulmates, and all that crap.
13)I'm addicted to magazines and ice cappucino's.
14)I have split personality problems. Sometimes i'm a tomboy and sometimes i'm girly.
15)I think i'm in love with a guy named Zack.
16)Shhh.. he doesn't know.
17)I love indian movies.
18)I love Grey's Anatomy!
19)I love girly stuff.
20)I love animals. Especially horses and cats.
21)I love Channing Tatum, Christiano Ronaldo, Chace Crawford, Leonardo Dicaprio and Patrick Dempsey.
22)I have a crush on two of my teachers in my school.
23)I love my friends. Especially my best friend.
24)My favourite movies are The Notebook and Titanic. {OBVIOUSLY}
25)I'm not rich. But i'm not poor either.
26)People say i look like exactly like my father.
27)I'm short. I hate it when people make fun of my height.
28)I'm not skinny or fat. I'm in between somewhere in there.
29)I hate looking at people who dont dress properly and have no hygiene.
30)If food was a person i'd marry him.
31)I'm boy crazy.
32)I'm weird to some of my friends because i say random things.
33)Apparently i'm weird cuz i dont know any Jamaican songs. (None of my friends are Jamaican.)
34)I love braces. Even though i dont have any i still think they're pretty.
35)I've never hugged,kissed, or held hands with a guy.
36)I think this makes me emotionally deprived.
37)I think i'm a loser for making this list but i dont care.
38)I love listening to peoples problems and giving them advice.
39)This is why i want to be a psychologist when i grow up.
40)I'm scared of becoming fat.
41)I'm addicted to chocolate.
42)I'm in love with chocolate.
43)I want to write my own book when i grow up.
44)I have a phobia of swimming and heights.
45)I'm a bit of a nerd. :p
46)I LOVE TO READ.
47)I want to have twin baby boys someday.
48)I love Allah. I talk to him alot.
49)I fucking hate Satan. (Who doesnt?)
50)I love my parents even though i talk back and am rude to them sometimes.
51)I dont think i know how to flirt. But sometimes i flirt. lmfaooooo
52)I love pizza and anything with melted cheese.
53)I never get to go downtown with my friends. I hate that. {Parents fault)
54)I want my husband to be really hot. looool
55)But most of all i want him to love me and be nice and sweet and all that stuff.
56)I want as many kids as possible. loool i jk. Maybe 8 being the max.
57)I'm not horny. I just want a big family. loooool
58)I laugh at dumb stuff. But i have been told that i'm funny. Weird.
59)I never had a boyfriend.
60)I want to eat at a fancy rich restaurant one day.
61)I want to live in a huge beautiful house in Abu Dubai.
62)I want to learn how to speak Spanish, Italian, and Arabic.
63)I hate Somali ladies.
64)I hate math but i love every other subject in school.
65)I hate chores especially cleaning the kitchen.
66)I cant cook for sh*!t
67)I swear. I know not good.
68)I have really bad skin. Meaning i have acne problems.
69)Nothing extreme ofcourse but it happens.
70)I hate pimples.
71)Sometimes i wished i was a guy.
72)I hate my period.
73)I'm scared of butterflies. Meaning i also hate them.
74)I hate bugs.
75)I'm a girly-girl at heart yet i have never done my nails before.
76)Sometimes i like to leave the crowd and be alone. To think by myself in peace.
77)I talk to myself. Crazy huh?
78)Majority of the time, i'm at home. If i'm not, then something bad happened.
79)Somali guys always seem so ugly to me.
80)I'm a cool loser. :p
81)I'm not popular and i dont want to be.
82)I have four brothers and three sisters.
83)I hate my highschool.
84)I hate school in general.
85)I'm really lazy.
86)Yet i wanna be an athelete.
87)I want to go to either University of Toronto, McMaster University or Ryerson.
88)I'm really hoping for a McMasters though.
89)I want to meet my future husband in university.
90)I can't wait for university.
91)I dont have that big of a family. Most of them are back home, in the States or in England.
92)I want to leave Canada and travel the world.
93)I love blogging.
94)I love reading blogs.
96)I love Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato.
97)I hate Miley Cyrus. But i want to meet her. Does that make sense?
98)I hate Justin Bieber too. But i like his songs. That makes sense!
99)I love classical fairytales. Especially all the Disney Princess stories.
100)I love being me even though most of the time.. it's complicated.

There you go. [=

Complicated.LaydeeXOXO

Hi! It's me Laydee!

All right to tell you the truth my name's not really Laydee. But let's just pretend it is.


Here are some basic things you might want to know about moi:

1) I'm Muslim. (No i dont think bombing is cool. So don't blame me.)

2) I'm from Somalia. (Never heard of it? Go read a map.)

3) I'm a regular teenage girl (thus meaning i'm hormonally crazed about boys, and like girly things.)

4) I'm in the Eleventh Grade right now! (Meaning high school is almost over! Yay!)

There are plenty other things about moi but by the time i finish writing them all; you would have died of boredom.

I guess this is the part where i tell you why i started writing this blog and all that. Well, to tell you the truth I started this blog for two reasons:

1) I have always loved to write. Words are the best way to express what your feeling even though half of the time they're swear words.

2) I want something to look back and read inshallah when i'm old, wrinkly and ugly. I have short term memory so i forget have the things that happen to me.... T_T

3) Inshallah when i have kids someday and they say "Mommy, you dont know what were going through.." I can just show them my blog instead of "talking" with them because honestly i suck at those kind of things.

Sorry did i say two things??? I meant three.

Did i mention I hate math?

Anyway i hope whoever's reading this and feeling like they're the most weirdest teenage girl out there, they can have some hope knowing that they're is someone out there who is always weirder.

And most of the time, that person is me.