School's out scream and shout!
There will be no screaming and shouting for me. It's gonna be more like work, summer school, work, and summer school.
Real life is nothing like high school musical.
Friday, June 25, 2010
SUMMERTIME'S HERE!
School's out scream and shout!
There will be no screaming and shouting for me. It's gonna be more like work, summer school, work, and summer school.
Real life is nothing like high school musical.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Full Story Of Complicated Laydee pt.2
[READ PREVIOUS ENTRY BEFORE READING THIS. OBVIOUSLY.]
Laydee had always been an observant person. She began observing Farhiya from a far. Dont take this the wrong way. She wasnt acting like a complete creepy stalker, she just began to notice little things about Farhiya that reinforced the fact that they werent really best friends.
1) They barely talked inside of school.
2) They hid secrets from each other.
3) They didnt trust each other. {Well from Laydee's point of view,there was no trust}
4) They didnt do what best friends usually do.
What do best friends do?
1) They hang out alot, inside and outside of school.
2) They tell each other everything.
3) They knew each other's likes and dislikes.
4) They feel so comfortable with each other.
5) They're always there for their friend.
Neither Laydee or Farhiya fufilled any of these criteria's that make up the relationship of a best friend. How can they, tell people that they're best friends? In the end, it's almost like cheating yourself.
While Laydee and Farhiya were "drifting away" from each other, Laydee and Sahra got closer. And after about a month the two were inseperable. They told each other everything. They laughed about the same things, thought about the same things, liked the same things, and even hated the same things. They both even had a strange craving for sour cream onion chips occassionally.
Yeah... really weird.
Anyway, things started happening to Farhiya. A rumour was spreading around to everyone that she had done a certain deed that most muslim girls would not do. Anyway this effected her reputation alot and people began to wonder things about her.Laydee always put a person in their place whenever they questioned her about Farhiya's "situation."
However Laydee began to wonder things like "If it were me in her place, would she defend me, like i defended her?"
Considering about what Farhiya had said when she was with Sayara; Laydee really doubted it.
Laydee had always been an observant person. She began observing Farhiya from a far. Dont take this the wrong way. She wasnt acting like a complete creepy stalker, she just began to notice little things about Farhiya that reinforced the fact that they werent really best friends.
1) They barely talked inside of school.
2) They hid secrets from each other.
3) They didnt trust each other. {Well from Laydee's point of view,there was no trust}
4) They didnt do what best friends usually do.
What do best friends do?
1) They hang out alot, inside and outside of school.
2) They tell each other everything.
3) They knew each other's likes and dislikes.
4) They feel so comfortable with each other.
5) They're always there for their friend.
Neither Laydee or Farhiya fufilled any of these criteria's that make up the relationship of a best friend. How can they, tell people that they're best friends? In the end, it's almost like cheating yourself.
While Laydee and Farhiya were "drifting away" from each other, Laydee and Sahra got closer. And after about a month the two were inseperable. They told each other everything. They laughed about the same things, thought about the same things, liked the same things, and even hated the same things. They both even had a strange craving for sour cream onion chips occassionally.
Yeah... really weird.
Anyway, things started happening to Farhiya. A rumour was spreading around to everyone that she had done a certain deed that most muslim girls would not do. Anyway this effected her reputation alot and people began to wonder things about her.Laydee always put a person in their place whenever they questioned her about Farhiya's "situation."
However Laydee began to wonder things like "If it were me in her place, would she defend me, like i defended her?"
Considering about what Farhiya had said when she was with Sayara; Laydee really doubted it.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
The Full Story Of Complicated Laydee
Once upon a time, a girl named Laydee was born. She grew up in a very ghetto area, filled with Somalians, and a whole load of Jamaicans. Sure there were a few group of other ethnicities, but mostly Somalians, and Jamaicans occupied this little town she called home.
Anyway Laydee was told at a very young age by her mother to never trust anyone. This made Laydee very paranoid and she began to wonder who trust in this big evil world. So she chose to trust no one.
Laydee was very reserved when she was young. Don’t take this the wrong way, she was never rude to people who tried to get close to her.. she just never opened the door for them to enter her world of secrets, thoughts, feelings and ideas.
Anyway, Laydee met a girl named Muffy. Muffy was Bengali, and was almost as reserved to herself as Laydee was. One day there teacher made a seating plan for the class and Muffy and Laydee's desk were set side by side. At first the girls didn’t speak to each other but as days went by the two young girls began to realize that there was a lot they had in common with each other. Muffy and Laydee made friends with other girls and formed their own little clique but the two girls were closer with each other than they were with the other girls.
As the years went by though the girls were separated into different classes and they soon found themselves, not talking as much. They had drifted apart as best friends but were still friends at heart. Muffy then moved to a different area after junior high. They still talk to this day but they realize that their paths had crossed and were never meant to touch again.
Anyway….
As Laydee grew older she began to realize why her mother told her to never trust anyone. She would see with her own eyes girls who were supposed to be friends, backbiting about each other, exposing another girl’s secret, etc etc. People say that this is very common for the female race but to Laydee is was just unacceptable.
Laydee never trusted anyone until a girl named Farhiya came along. Farhiya was funny, talkative and always had an opinion. Very quickly the girls became good friends, telling each other everything. They both called the other girl her “best friend.”
When the girls entered middle school Laydee noticed that Farhiya was starting to distance herself. Farhiya started to talk to the “popular girls.” This group consisted of girls like Aaliya, Maymuna, and other Somali girls who were fashionable, guys liked them and they were just overall considered to be “cool.” Keep in mind that Laydee was never a popular girl, since she hung out with girls who weren’t Somali, she was under the radar making her not that noticeable in the school.
Anyway Laydee began to hang out with girl name Lisa, Sarah (who was destined to become her best friend) and other girls. Lisa and Sarah were fun to hang out with and very nice and welcoming to Laydee. The girls became good friends who told each other everything.
Farhiya and Laydee still talked but not as much but Farhiya continued to call Laydee her “best friend.” Laydee was confused on that proclamation since best friends were considered to be hanging out together all the time. Laydee didn’t believe they were best friends anymore, but didn’t want to hurt Farhiya’s feelings or anything so she kept quiet.
Then when grade eight hit, Laydee started to realize that Farhiya didn’t like her all that much. One time Laydee and her other friend Mary had gotten in a fight. Mary had snitched to Laydee’s mom that Laydee had gone to the mall at lunch. (Laydee has very strict parents). Laydee’s mother got really mad and threatened to switch Laydee to another middle school. Mary had gone to the mall numerous times but Laydee had never snitched on her before so Laydee felt betrayed. She confronted Mary and the two began to yell at each other. Laydee went home to a very angry mom. The next day after Laydee was walking back to school at lunch (she had started to going home for lunch on her mother’s orders.) she heard Farhiya and Sayara (yes she was there too) talking about her. She stopped walking and listened to the two girls conversation.
Sayara: Laydee had no permission to go to the mall anyway so Mary did the right thing by telling her mom.
Farhiya: Yeah, Laydee just wants to be extra and make a scene. She should just accept the fact she got booked and move on.
Laydee was so shocked. A pang of emotions just hit her heart. Laydee held back the tears that were fighting her eyes. Her so called best friend was talking about her like this. “Maybe I should just walk around the long way to avoid them” she thought. Suddenly she felt angry. She didn’t have to walk around, so she walked around the corner and came face to face with Sayara and Farhiya. The two girls looked so ashamed. Farhiya even covered her face to hide her embarrassment.
Sayara began talking but at that point Laydee didn’t even care anymore.
Laydee just walked away.
After a lot of thought, Laydee went and apologized to Mary for being so immature and being upset over such a stupid thing. Laydee decided to forgive Farhiya too in her heart. It didn’t matter. “Farhiya was just stating a point” Laydee told herself. “You were being extra.”
When the celebration of Eid arrived Laydee and her family had decided to go to Woodbine Centre again that year to have some fun on the rides, play arcade games and do other stuff. This year though Farhiya and her mom were coming with Laydee and her family this year because Farhiya really wanted to go since she had never gone before. Numerous Somali people from all areas of Toronto would be there this year.
When they arrived at the Woodbine Centre, Laydee and Farhiya were really excited. They bought their tickets and said goodbye to their moms. The two girls went on numerous rides but as the hours dragged on Farhiya began to say that “She was getting bored.” Laydee suggested that they go downstairs to the theatre. At the theatre they saw so many Somali people waiting to enter the theatre. Many of them Laydee did not know.
However Farhiya knew plenty. She began catching up with many of the Somali girls that she hadn’t seen in a while. Laydee began to feel awkward just standing there with people she didn’t know so she told Farhiya that she was going back upstairs to get some money from their parents for the movie. Farhiya just nodded.
Laydee went back upstairs to talk to her mom. Her mother said she couldn’t watch the movie since most movies today contained many haram things. Instead her mother told her to go with Farhiya on some rides. Laydee ran to find Farhiya’s mom. She walked around the whole mall looking for Farhiya’s mom but couldn’t find her. So she went downstairs to talk to Farhiya. Farhiya was caught up in a conversation with a bunch of girls so Laydee resorted to just going to the fountain and throwing pennies in the water. After a while she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned around to face Farhiya. “Can you please do me a favor and find my mom. I need money for the movie ticket” she asked Laydee. “Sure” Laydee said. “It will give me something to do” she thought silently to herself.
So Laydee went off to find Farhiya’s mom. After much walking she found her mother. Laydee got the money from her and went downstairs to give it to Farhiya.
Farhiya took the money and said “THANKS SO MUCH!” Laydee said “Yeah but my mom won’t let me go with you. So… your okay with them right?” Laydee said pathetically, hoping that Farhiya would rather hang out with her and ditch these girls.
“Yeah. You can go just hang out with whoever you were with.” Farhiya said.
Laydee nodded. “Okay see you later.”
Farhiya waved and turned to face the other girls.
Laydee walked away and began to feel tears sting her eyes. “Don’t cry you baby.” She told herself. “Your out in public.”
Laydee walked upstairs and went to her mother. She got money from her and bought some ice cream and a bag of chips. She sat down in a corner by herself and for the rest of the day ate her food, wondering to herself how much of a loser she really was.
On the ride home, Farhiya talked about how much fun she had. Laydee was just quiet and forced herself to find her story interesting.
When Laydee got home she went straight to her room and threw herself on her bed. She cried out in pain and realized she had a huge blister on her foot from all that walking.
Laydee put her face on her pillow and cried herself to sleep.
Anyway Laydee was told at a very young age by her mother to never trust anyone. This made Laydee very paranoid and she began to wonder who trust in this big evil world. So she chose to trust no one.
Laydee was very reserved when she was young. Don’t take this the wrong way, she was never rude to people who tried to get close to her.. she just never opened the door for them to enter her world of secrets, thoughts, feelings and ideas.
Anyway, Laydee met a girl named Muffy. Muffy was Bengali, and was almost as reserved to herself as Laydee was. One day there teacher made a seating plan for the class and Muffy and Laydee's desk were set side by side. At first the girls didn’t speak to each other but as days went by the two young girls began to realize that there was a lot they had in common with each other. Muffy and Laydee made friends with other girls and formed their own little clique but the two girls were closer with each other than they were with the other girls.
As the years went by though the girls were separated into different classes and they soon found themselves, not talking as much. They had drifted apart as best friends but were still friends at heart. Muffy then moved to a different area after junior high. They still talk to this day but they realize that their paths had crossed and were never meant to touch again.
Anyway….
As Laydee grew older she began to realize why her mother told her to never trust anyone. She would see with her own eyes girls who were supposed to be friends, backbiting about each other, exposing another girl’s secret, etc etc. People say that this is very common for the female race but to Laydee is was just unacceptable.
Laydee never trusted anyone until a girl named Farhiya came along. Farhiya was funny, talkative and always had an opinion. Very quickly the girls became good friends, telling each other everything. They both called the other girl her “best friend.”
When the girls entered middle school Laydee noticed that Farhiya was starting to distance herself. Farhiya started to talk to the “popular girls.” This group consisted of girls like Aaliya, Maymuna, and other Somali girls who were fashionable, guys liked them and they were just overall considered to be “cool.” Keep in mind that Laydee was never a popular girl, since she hung out with girls who weren’t Somali, she was under the radar making her not that noticeable in the school.
Anyway Laydee began to hang out with girl name Lisa, Sarah (who was destined to become her best friend) and other girls. Lisa and Sarah were fun to hang out with and very nice and welcoming to Laydee. The girls became good friends who told each other everything.
Farhiya and Laydee still talked but not as much but Farhiya continued to call Laydee her “best friend.” Laydee was confused on that proclamation since best friends were considered to be hanging out together all the time. Laydee didn’t believe they were best friends anymore, but didn’t want to hurt Farhiya’s feelings or anything so she kept quiet.
Then when grade eight hit, Laydee started to realize that Farhiya didn’t like her all that much. One time Laydee and her other friend Mary had gotten in a fight. Mary had snitched to Laydee’s mom that Laydee had gone to the mall at lunch. (Laydee has very strict parents). Laydee’s mother got really mad and threatened to switch Laydee to another middle school. Mary had gone to the mall numerous times but Laydee had never snitched on her before so Laydee felt betrayed. She confronted Mary and the two began to yell at each other. Laydee went home to a very angry mom. The next day after Laydee was walking back to school at lunch (she had started to going home for lunch on her mother’s orders.) she heard Farhiya and Sayara (yes she was there too) talking about her. She stopped walking and listened to the two girls conversation.
Sayara: Laydee had no permission to go to the mall anyway so Mary did the right thing by telling her mom.
Farhiya: Yeah, Laydee just wants to be extra and make a scene. She should just accept the fact she got booked and move on.
Laydee was so shocked. A pang of emotions just hit her heart. Laydee held back the tears that were fighting her eyes. Her so called best friend was talking about her like this. “Maybe I should just walk around the long way to avoid them” she thought. Suddenly she felt angry. She didn’t have to walk around, so she walked around the corner and came face to face with Sayara and Farhiya. The two girls looked so ashamed. Farhiya even covered her face to hide her embarrassment.
Sayara began talking but at that point Laydee didn’t even care anymore.
Laydee just walked away.
After a lot of thought, Laydee went and apologized to Mary for being so immature and being upset over such a stupid thing. Laydee decided to forgive Farhiya too in her heart. It didn’t matter. “Farhiya was just stating a point” Laydee told herself. “You were being extra.”
When the celebration of Eid arrived Laydee and her family had decided to go to Woodbine Centre again that year to have some fun on the rides, play arcade games and do other stuff. This year though Farhiya and her mom were coming with Laydee and her family this year because Farhiya really wanted to go since she had never gone before. Numerous Somali people from all areas of Toronto would be there this year.
When they arrived at the Woodbine Centre, Laydee and Farhiya were really excited. They bought their tickets and said goodbye to their moms. The two girls went on numerous rides but as the hours dragged on Farhiya began to say that “She was getting bored.” Laydee suggested that they go downstairs to the theatre. At the theatre they saw so many Somali people waiting to enter the theatre. Many of them Laydee did not know.
However Farhiya knew plenty. She began catching up with many of the Somali girls that she hadn’t seen in a while. Laydee began to feel awkward just standing there with people she didn’t know so she told Farhiya that she was going back upstairs to get some money from their parents for the movie. Farhiya just nodded.
Laydee went back upstairs to talk to her mom. Her mother said she couldn’t watch the movie since most movies today contained many haram things. Instead her mother told her to go with Farhiya on some rides. Laydee ran to find Farhiya’s mom. She walked around the whole mall looking for Farhiya’s mom but couldn’t find her. So she went downstairs to talk to Farhiya. Farhiya was caught up in a conversation with a bunch of girls so Laydee resorted to just going to the fountain and throwing pennies in the water. After a while she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned around to face Farhiya. “Can you please do me a favor and find my mom. I need money for the movie ticket” she asked Laydee. “Sure” Laydee said. “It will give me something to do” she thought silently to herself.
So Laydee went off to find Farhiya’s mom. After much walking she found her mother. Laydee got the money from her and went downstairs to give it to Farhiya.
Farhiya took the money and said “THANKS SO MUCH!” Laydee said “Yeah but my mom won’t let me go with you. So… your okay with them right?” Laydee said pathetically, hoping that Farhiya would rather hang out with her and ditch these girls.
“Yeah. You can go just hang out with whoever you were with.” Farhiya said.
Laydee nodded. “Okay see you later.”
Farhiya waved and turned to face the other girls.
Laydee walked away and began to feel tears sting her eyes. “Don’t cry you baby.” She told herself. “Your out in public.”
Laydee walked upstairs and went to her mother. She got money from her and bought some ice cream and a bag of chips. She sat down in a corner by herself and for the rest of the day ate her food, wondering to herself how much of a loser she really was.
On the ride home, Farhiya talked about how much fun she had. Laydee was just quiet and forced herself to find her story interesting.
When Laydee got home she went straight to her room and threw herself on her bed. She cried out in pain and realized she had a huge blister on her foot from all that walking.
Laydee put her face on her pillow and cried herself to sleep.
Who am i?
Sometimes there are people who are just really confused about who they really are.
These people are usually referred to as being bi-polar, having split-personality disorder or just being plain crazy.
However i think there is always a little person inside of us that tells us we should "change" who we are to impress a certain group of people. So in the end we all are truly guilty of being "bi-polar."
I've been there trust me.
For example remeber my last post about my many diverse group of friends? I'm beginning to realize that i dont fit in very well, with the huge group that are obessessed with clothes and what not. They all have certain things in common with each other. Since i dont fit in with them, i'm starting to wonder how i managed to talk and hang out with them in the first place.
I remeber moments of complete awkwardness when they had they're inside jokes. I remember days where i pretended to actually understand what the hell they were talking about just so i didnt feel like a complete loser. I would nodd my head enthusiastacly but never added any actual input to the conversation because then it would be obvious that i was just spitting out complete bull. But then Sayara would quiz me on something about the topic at hand so i looked like a complete idiot anyways. Why did i put myself through those months of hell? Honeslty i look back at it now and i realize that I was pretending to be someone i wasnt, therefore i diagnosed myself as being bi-polar.
Those girls dont know the real me, and honeslty i can say i dont trust them enough to show them who i really am. If i did then i know for a fact, that within a month the whole school would be talking about my pitiful crush on Zack, my cluelessness about Jamaican songs, my parents being so strict on me and etc, etc. I would probably be labeled a loser.
At this point in time... i would like to inform you my dear readers, that i dont fucking care anymore. I now know who my real friends are. I like these girls but i dont see myself hanging out with them all the time in the near future. In fact for the past two weeks i've snucked away from our table to hang out with my best friend, Sahra.
LOOOL okay i didnt actually sneak away. I just got up and left.
Complicated_LaydeeXOXOXO
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Friendship isn't as easy as it looks.
There are many things about my friendship life that confuse me.
Okay... you all may now know about my best friend Sahra. I love her with all my heart. I dont know how i would survive without her being around. We laugh at the same things, we cry about the same things, we are so alike we can finish each other's sentences. Most people would think "So what all best friends have that?" No you dont understand. What Sahra and i have you wish you could have buddy.
The weird thing is we dont look like were best friends at all to people on the outside. Why? Because we dont hang out that much at school.
And this is where another group of friends comes in.
Then there is this group i hang out with at school. They are chilling. Fun to hang out with, have interesting topics sometimes but honestly sometimes i feel like they dont know the real me. And the truth is, sometimes i think they dont care and dont want to know the real me. I'm just a person who is there to listen to THEIR problems and if ever dare speak about my problems, lord knows what would happen. Honestly now days i just get bored, sitting around talking about clothes, or about some jam i havent been to. i only see this group of friends at school, not outside of school, so sometimes it feels like i'm just a SCHOOL friend. This is not the way it's supposed to go is it? Sahra doesnt like these group of girls, and they dont like Sahra. How awkward is that to be stuck in the middle? Dont get me wrong, i like these girls, but i dont think i fit in enough with them, to hang out with them all the time.
Then there's other people.
There is a girl named Farhiya who used to be my best friend. I dunno what we are now. Yeah we still talk and hang out but i feel like she doesnt trust me. That's cool though.... honestly i think after what me and her have been through, and what i did to her recently this year... She has all the right in the world to not like me.
Remeber my "friend" Laila? Yeah... we're not really friends.. she thinks she's my friend but i cant stand her these days. She's always so clingy and stingy and the only reason why she's hanging out with me these days is cuz she got in a fight with her old friends. I dont want to be no rebound chick.
So out of all these girls, who do you think is the most dearest to my heart? As corny as it sounds... Sahra is my best friend in the whole wide world and i could trust her with anything.
Although.. honestly i trust Farhiya alot too. But since she doesnt trust me.. i dont think it's going to work.
Inshallah we'll see what Allah has planned for Farhiya and I in the future.
Complicated_LaydeeXOXO
Okay... you all may now know about my best friend Sahra. I love her with all my heart. I dont know how i would survive without her being around. We laugh at the same things, we cry about the same things, we are so alike we can finish each other's sentences. Most people would think "So what all best friends have that?" No you dont understand. What Sahra and i have you wish you could have buddy.
The weird thing is we dont look like were best friends at all to people on the outside. Why? Because we dont hang out that much at school.
And this is where another group of friends comes in.
Then there is this group i hang out with at school. They are chilling. Fun to hang out with, have interesting topics sometimes but honestly sometimes i feel like they dont know the real me. And the truth is, sometimes i think they dont care and dont want to know the real me. I'm just a person who is there to listen to THEIR problems and if ever dare speak about my problems, lord knows what would happen. Honestly now days i just get bored, sitting around talking about clothes, or about some jam i havent been to. i only see this group of friends at school, not outside of school, so sometimes it feels like i'm just a SCHOOL friend. This is not the way it's supposed to go is it? Sahra doesnt like these group of girls, and they dont like Sahra. How awkward is that to be stuck in the middle? Dont get me wrong, i like these girls, but i dont think i fit in enough with them, to hang out with them all the time.
Then there's other people.
There is a girl named Farhiya who used to be my best friend. I dunno what we are now. Yeah we still talk and hang out but i feel like she doesnt trust me. That's cool though.... honestly i think after what me and her have been through, and what i did to her recently this year... She has all the right in the world to not like me.
Remeber my "friend" Laila? Yeah... we're not really friends.. she thinks she's my friend but i cant stand her these days. She's always so clingy and stingy and the only reason why she's hanging out with me these days is cuz she got in a fight with her old friends. I dont want to be no rebound chick.
So out of all these girls, who do you think is the most dearest to my heart? As corny as it sounds... Sahra is my best friend in the whole wide world and i could trust her with anything.
Although.. honestly i trust Farhiya alot too. But since she doesnt trust me.. i dont think it's going to work.
Inshallah we'll see what Allah has planned for Farhiya and I in the future.
Complicated_LaydeeXOXO
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Question for you all!
Does anyone know if gravy is halal?
Please leave a comment if you know the answer.
Complicated_LaydeeXOXO
Please leave a comment if you know the answer.
Complicated_LaydeeXOXO
I'm free!
First off, i'm done with crushing on Zack. Finished. Finito. ENDED.
you get the point.
Why? Well.. because he's not worth my time. I never liked him for his personality at all. I liked him for other reasons that you all might know from my previous entries.
So now he is completely out of my mind, and i'm single in my mind now. LOOOL
Bad joke.
How embarrasing. T_T
So yeah anyways, as i was saying, I dont like Zack anymore because:
He and i are from two diffrent worlds. [corny and very cliche i know. But it's true!]
Today alone he walked passed me and i didnt have the occasional flutter in my heart. That's when i knew it was over.
Allahamdullilah!
This is not something that happened just out of the blue. I've noticed some certain things about Zack that have made me rethink this whole infatuation.
1) He is very rude.
2) He doesnt have any big dreams for his future. All he thinks about is sports.
3) He is so focused on what people think of him.
4) He is very disrespectful to everyone especially girls.
5) He doesnt really have a connection with Allah.
Your probably wondering how i know the last one. Well him and his friends have occasionally joked about salah, by pretending to pray in the hallway at school and looking around to see if anyone was watching.
How sad.
I pray for him in my salah now.. that Allah will guide him on the right path.
I am now happy to report that my imaan is now at an all time high. I'm praying my salah on time, reading more quran, and even walked to the mosque last sunday by myself.
I just hope my period wont come so quickly to ruin everything.
Dont you girls hate it when your period comes and ruins your religious momentum?
YAY!
Complicated_LaydeeXOXO
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