Sometimes there are people who are just really confused about who they really are.
These people are usually referred to as being bi-polar, having split-personality disorder or just being plain crazy.
However i think there is always a little person inside of us that tells us we should "change" who we are to impress a certain group of people. So in the end we all are truly guilty of being "bi-polar."
I've been there trust me.
For example remeber my last post about my many diverse group of friends? I'm beginning to realize that i dont fit in very well, with the huge group that are obessessed with clothes and what not. They all have certain things in common with each other. Since i dont fit in with them, i'm starting to wonder how i managed to talk and hang out with them in the first place.
I remeber moments of complete awkwardness when they had they're inside jokes. I remember days where i pretended to actually understand what the hell they were talking about just so i didnt feel like a complete loser. I would nodd my head enthusiastacly but never added any actual input to the conversation because then it would be obvious that i was just spitting out complete bull. But then Sayara would quiz me on something about the topic at hand so i looked like a complete idiot anyways. Why did i put myself through those months of hell? Honeslty i look back at it now and i realize that I was pretending to be someone i wasnt, therefore i diagnosed myself as being bi-polar.
Those girls dont know the real me, and honeslty i can say i dont trust them enough to show them who i really am. If i did then i know for a fact, that within a month the whole school would be talking about my pitiful crush on Zack, my cluelessness about Jamaican songs, my parents being so strict on me and etc, etc. I would probably be labeled a loser.
At this point in time... i would like to inform you my dear readers, that i dont fucking care anymore. I now know who my real friends are. I like these girls but i dont see myself hanging out with them all the time in the near future. In fact for the past two weeks i've snucked away from our table to hang out with my best friend, Sahra.
LOOOL okay i didnt actually sneak away. I just got up and left.
Complicated_LaydeeXOXOXO
